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@_Happy_Gilmore: This makes total sense...
@_keels_: I'm fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
@DurtMcHurtt: All squirrels fly when you own a T-shirt cannon.
@matt___nelson: ME: time for sleep
BRAIN: what if potatoes could talk
BRAIN: and make friends with one another
ME: please stop
BRAIN: best spuds
@Thynebear: [baby takes its first steps]
me in a cop outfit: not even close to a straight line buddy, you're going away for a long long time.
@mexinonblonde: You're a big fat liar! And I don't believe anything you say!
See if I get naked for you again!!
-Me to my scale as I step off of it