@WheelTod: This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down a Christmas tree unless you intend on eating it.
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@tastefactory: 12 YEAR OLD: I wrote a movie script called Suicide Squad but it's bad *throws in trash* HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER: *walks by trash* Hey what's this
@robfee: Worst things the parents do on Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza
@BrettDruck: It's always the Great Wall of China, but I feel bad for all the other walls in China. They're like "Hey i'm a pretty good wall too."
@robwhisman: [swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would