@SteveMartinToGo: This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
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@animaldrumss: No, actually I hate gambling, that's why the dice on my shirt are on fire. If I see someone start to gamble I'll burn up his gambling dice.
@DaddyJew: "Welcome to money management. Have you all paid your $200 entrance fee?" "Yes" "Excellent, never give money to strangers. Class dismissed"
@RealDMK: Whenever someone with a bumper sticker cuts me off I automatically dislike the cause they support. Right now I'm not too fond of Literacy
@Anon_imosity: I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it