@WillSaysStuff: This post-pregnant lady found the perfect way to shed her baby-belly by giving birth! Scientists and non-pregnant ladies HATE her!!!
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@Blarebare: Start a slow-clap in a quiet, crowded room. The first person that joins you, marry them. They're your soulmate.
@MaraWritesStuff: BROTHER: The Godfather is on? That's not very Thanksgiving-y. ME: Well, it's about family...
@iamspacegirl: *ring* Mrs. Rabbit: Hello? Mr. McGregor: Your kid's in my yard again. Mrs. Rabbit: Oh i'm so sorry, is he- Mr. McGregor: yea he's naked