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@itsalishababyy: This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear... I'm just fat.
@twitinfected: Went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and I only spent $9,000.00
@ceejoyner: Some fancy kids just egged my house with quail eggs. I went out to yell, and one of them garnished me with chives.
@YoungFunE: I'm now on year 3 of the '7 day ab challenge'
@SortaBad: We can land a rover on freakin Mars but still no single-button to push for the
@TheBoydP: I was confused when my wife asked me what I spent $108 on at the liquor store. I answered "liquor?"
All is not a trick question. Apparently