@LMGinTN: This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it's contagious.
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@AaronFullerton: Did you know you can actually WIN Instagram by taking a picture of your feet next to your dinner at sunset?
@geo_teira: [at a restaurant] Me: uhm. This plate is broken and the food is all spread out. Waiter: yes ma'am, that's the continental drift breakfast.