@LMGinTN: This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it's contagious.
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@Book_Krazy: Boss: This is the 3rd time I've seen you slacking off today. Do you know what that means? Me: You want me to move the couch into my office?
@knot_eye: I just vacuumed my dog to cut down on indoor shedding, if you're looking for a life coach or whatever.
@Manali_Shetye5: Him:The seven dwarves were on a bus, they all started to feel Sleepy. So Sleepy got off. Me:Oh come on, man! That pun was Dopey!