@LoneWolfStories: This stray cat on my balcony is looking at me like I'm invading its privacy.
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@dshack8: Although no words have been spoken per se, I'm pretty sure the dude in the next stall just challenged me to a beat-boxing contest.
@TeaAndCopy: My wife said that to make our marriage work, we both need to make sacrifices. I've chosen a goat.
@SwartyComedy: If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd write a tragedy about the fate of the single French fry that comes with every order of onion rings.