@LoneWolfStories: This stray cat on my balcony is looking at me like I'm invading its privacy.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: If the Discovery Channel's new show 'Naked And Afraid' isn't about Mormon honeymoons, I'm not interested.
@KirstySykes96: actors kiss each other for like 7 seasons and don't fall in love but when someone holds the door for me i think about it for like 4 months
@Kimgee8: Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust.
@Home_Halfway: Congrats on your new baby. I remember a night where you drank a fifth of Jim Beam and crapped yourself. Glad you're raising a child now.