@ConanOBrien: This summer, camp counselors all over the country will shine flashlights under their chins and read the headlines.
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@BGH70: I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me.
@imteddybless: my cousin's baby is due tomorrow & my grandma keeps checkin her phone for news. waitin for the baby 2 text her like "im here lol. from baby"
@AnniemuMary: Genetics are weird. Like only 1 of the kids got my hair color but all of them got my husband's inability to fully close a drawer.
@geekysteven: GOD: That's the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones ANGEL: Will do GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises