@Malowbar: This was the Moment when twitter decided to double the Size of its Application.
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@ProudFFAalumni: woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going to be magical.
@realHamOnWry: Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I had no idea he was missing and I suddenly got nervous thinking I might be a suspect.
@adamlucidi: Christmas is becoming like that creepy friend that shows up to the party too early. The party starts at 7:00, why are you here at 4:30!?!!