@Malowbar: This was the Moment when twitter decided to double the Size of its Application.
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@BadJordon: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide whether I want to wipe with a pillow, a cloud, or a kitten.
@Smooheed: If you've ever wondered what it's like to try to dress a jelly fish, here, try to get pants on my toddler
@neiltyson: There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don't.
@TheTweetOfGod: All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?