@michelleisawolf: This weekend is daylight savings time, which means the clock on my microwave will be right again.
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@boring_as_heck: Joe was really good at making movie trailers. There was just one problem *car honk* he didn't have access to the record scratch sound effect
@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job
@FatuousFloozy: Women love a man that can cook, tell a lady you're interested in that youll cook anything their heart desires. And pray they say "spaghetti"