@AlsBoy: This woman took her cats to a department store to visit Santa and as you can see it went quite well
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@sickipediabot: "If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open." said the boss at my new job. "Why do you need a door then?" I asked him.
@kelkulus: My girlfriend and I are celebrating our anniversary tonight by breaking up six years ago.
@nPhelendriqal: "I'll have what she's having." " Sir, this is a gynecolo-" "Shhhh.. *puts finger over Dr's lips* I said I'll have what she's having."