@TheTweetOfGod: This year's Christmas must-haves? Food, water and shelter! #theclassics
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@WigCannon: before stairs there'd be someone on the second floor and people would ask "how'd you get up there" and they'd be like "i don't know"
@kelkulus: They say don't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. Still, I think I look pretty stupid waiting tables in a spacesuit.
@evanrhorne: "Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs." - inventor of Whopper Candies.