@trevso_electric: Thor is definitely one of my top 5 favorite movies about hammers.
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@KissabiX: My friends car got stolen and was handed back littered with evidence of drugs. Great, now a car is having a more interesting life than I.
@Vodkantots: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go.
@dafloydsta: *tear runs down cheek "Why are all these people dead on the inside?" "Sir, this is a morgue."