@Ctchandler247: Thou shalt not commit adulthood
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@liv_thatsme: Me: Will I be happy in 2017? (peers into crystal ball) Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN Psychic: I don't know; I've never seen one explode before
@kumailn: So is tomorrow the day Trump & all his supporters say "April Fools!" & we get our country back?
@stephenjmolloy: Barber: "How would you like your hair cut, sir?" Me: "With scissors." Barber: "Very good, sir." *puts samurai sword down*