@Ctchandler247: Thou shalt not commit adulthood
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@garrettbarry70: A pop up blocker for coworkers who send you an email and immediately show up at your desk to ask if you got their email.
@XplodingUnicorn: Priest: Marriage lasts until death. You’re not married in heaven. Me: Why not? Wife: Then we’d be in hell.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: “If I die first, I want you to remarry.” Me: “Wow. Do you really hate me that much?”