@BlindChow: Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door.
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Last Supper] Jesus: *holds up bread* This is my body *holds up wine* This is my blood And this is Sparta! *kicks Judas into a pit*
@Pirate_nurse: If he's dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven't gotten my period."
@rodney_at_large: I saw your link on Facebook. What happened next will blow your mind.......I didn't open it.
@JCautomatic: [Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist