@neiltyson: Thought Experiment: Stand on a scale in an elevator. Cut the cable. You, the scale, and the elevator fall -- scale reads zero
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@StinkyGr33n: Joke I told my one-eyed coworker today: Me: What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye? Him: I give up Me: A terrorst
@ThatRascalPuff: Gramps: *on deathbed* I feel like Im forgetting someth- *dies* [2 yrs later] Me: *knocking water outta my ears* *quarter falls out*
@RoastedPapad: [ Buzzfeed writer becomes a teacher ] "Kids today we will learn Alphabets. Here are 26 Alphabets that will blow your mind"