@TakeItFromUsPR: Thousands of people are attacked by sea creatures every year. We at BP are dedicated to bringing that number down. You're welcome!
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@SatansTongue: *at a concert* ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK (Crowd) "YEAAAAH" LETS DO THIS HIT IT *30 second ad plays first*
@primawesome: What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it? Who are these iron-mouthed warriors?
@JP_theAntiHero: Dude turned from the ATM and tripped sending about eight 20s flying into my face. I teared up a little. I get strippers, I get it.