@TakeItFromUsPR: Thousands of people are attacked by sea creatures every year. We at BP are dedicated to bringing that number down. You're welcome!
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@FatherWithTwins: Marriage is your wife: - Saying you are "the smartest person she knows" - But not trusting you to buy the right items at the store to make a salad
@therealeatwood: I’m usually more of a Samantha but sometimes I am such a Carrie, like when a bucket of blood got dumped on my head at prom