@rolldiggity: Throw a pizza down a manhole. Wait five minutes. Throw a grenade down. You just killed the Ninja Turtles.
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@notenoughwine: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good, and we will slowly kill you
@freypalm: Date: Cat-callers disgust me. Me: [hastily returning phone to pocket] Oh haha yeah me too. My cat: *at home by the phone worried sick*
@tiffpats4eva: Watching The Bible. Didn't realize everyone spoke w/ a British accent back then. Neat.