@TheTweetOfGod: Time is money. Money talks. So time talks. But talk is cheap. So time is cheap. But time is money. So money is cheap. Which it's not.
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@Ristolable: The British are coming! Get ready! Oh wait they're coming by boat. We have like three months
@merican_ninjy: Yelling out "Stranger Danger!" is a good way to say no when a cashier asks for your zip code.
@Reverend_Scott: BOSS: I set up a Suggestion Box. Please don't hesitate to- ME: [staring directly at boss while slowly stuffing cream cheese bagel into box]