@JediGigi: To avoid another embarrassing moment like when I was stood up on prom night, I always keep at least 1 penguin around.
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@HiddleDeeDee: 6 to his brother: Hey man, all I want is some oatmeal and a nap. It's a joy raising an 80 year old man.
@Mom_Overboard: I watch people through binoculars as a hobby, but the cops call it a felony... I never knew those were synonyms.
@AnkCoupleTO: Joining Twitter instead of the circus was a pretty good move considering I'm a freak but not that talented
@GoodNaps: Welcome to Ulterior Motors where our goal is to sell you a car and definitely not anything else