@TheDairylandDon: To avoid small talk with neighbors I've taken to checking the mail in the middle of the night like some kinda raccoon with bills.
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@LeonEarlgrey: Hey girl are you my golf clubs? Because I tottaly forgot to take you out of my trunk.
@ShadyLadyHH: My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
@OfficeofSteve: Ben-Hur was actually called, Fast & The Furious: Jerusalem Drift, but the name didn't catch on like they had hoped