@TheDairylandDon: To avoid small talk with neighbors I've taken to checking the mail in the middle of the night like some kinda raccoon with bills.
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@SteveSuckington: [2 guys at open mic night] What are we gonna name our band? [from crowd] look at the one guys hair! LMFAO *they look at each other*
@yenniwhite: Take the road less traveled. Like, the one with the most mud, or the wettest grass, even if there’s a sidewalk nearby. -Kids