@13spencer: To be fair, "old-fashioned" doesn't necessarily mean racist; it could also mean sexist.
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@murrman5: [kidnapper hands wife phone] "brent" BABY IM COMIN *kidnapper takes back phone but she can hear me yelling* IS THE HAM IN THE FRIDGE EXPIRED
@lecalabara: Me:Everything you know about me is a lie.Coworker:So you didnt dance naked in the fountain at the mall?Me: Everything other than that.
@_LittleMsBossy_: Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings.
@DadandBuried: You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids.