@Brentweets: To err is human... To not know what err means is American.
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@thestlouisan: *Plots revenge by getting a job at a fast food restaurant and waiting for nemesis to drive thru and not putting a straw in their bag*
@cray_at_home_ma: Get married and have kids so that you can be woken up at 4:56 am on a Saturday by someone asking what the opposite of "J" is.
@kelkulus: A friend of mine is allergic to both peanut butter and bees, which he discovered when he bit into the worst sandwich ever.