@imskytrash: (to kid at lemonade stand) i ain't buying shit until i find you on yelp
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@hippieswordfish: when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent
@NJPsychDoc: My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his better half. I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife to him as the lesser of two evils.
@WilliamAder: I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."