@WilliamAder: To my followers in Florida in the path of the hurricane: Remember to keep your phone charged. These tweets don't "like" themselves.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife handed me a mop so I inspected it and said, "You're good to go, woman!" and now the mop handle is in a funny place.
@murrman5: good news and bad news. bad news is the dog pissed on the bed "we don't have a dog" *smiles getting ready to deliver the good news*