@WilliamAder: To my followers in Florida in the path of the hurricane: Remember to keep your phone charged. These tweets don't "like" themselves.
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@MartaEffing: I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you.
@squirrel74wkgn: [alien wobbles out of spacecraft] "Take me to your leader" [30 minutes later] Me: So, this is my wife...