@WhiskeySoured: To protest Donald Sterling's racist comments I'm going to continue to not care about basketball.
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@3sunzzz: 1900: Let's filter coffee. 1950: We need to filter cigarettes. 1970: We should really filter water. 2015: I want to filter my face.
@Steelers1972: Just hung a picture of Steve Buscemi over my daughters toothbrush to ensure proper brushing.
@PaperWash: [mugger trying to snatch Elsa's purse] Elsa: HEY LET IT GO! Mugger: OMG sing the rest
@mulliganstewed: As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime.