@WhiskeySoured: To protest Donald Sterling's racist comments I'm going to continue to not care about basketball.
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@vanderheydensax: "Well, you only live once." - Guy, convincing himself to skydive "Well, you only live once." - Me, convincing myself not to skydive
@FatherWithTwins: Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then
@Jen_Up_: 4: can you whistle? M: *whistles* 4: Here's a booger. M:... 4: Keep it forever. Have kids they said. It'll be fun they said. Liars.