@ericsshadow: "To prove how much I love you I'm going to eat this entire pizza."
That's not what I -
"Please stop. Let me do this."
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@CruisinSoozan: You want to sext? *blushes* Ok, but I'm not very good at it. *frantically types* AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH...
@GoddessTitty: My neighbor told me to close the curtains when I'm naked, but then I don't get that cool sensation of pressing up against the window glass
@iwearaonesie: wife [on phone] Did you preheat the oven like I asked? me: Yep wife: What temperature? me: 534 wife: That's the clock me wife me: 535
@WheelTod: [Office] *Dolphin accidentally dials fax number Fax:EEphkEekakischchEEek Dolphin:Well, I don't normally do this. But yes I'm free tonight
@thepunningman: Me: It stands for Greatest Of All Time Jeweller: I just don't think your wife will want "THE GOAT IS MINE" inscribed on her wedding ring
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