@aRealLiveGhost: to someone with x-ray vision two people making out look like skeletons that are really bad at eating each other
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@mortimermaiden: [restaurant] Manager: You're fired. Me: Why?! Manager: You're a bad waiter. Me: *sitting with a family waiting for their food* I disagree.
@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.