@tweeterreader36: To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!
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@Steelers1972: Hey Verizon, here's an idea ~ $9.99 for unlimited calls, text, and data. But, $179.99 a minute to call ex-girlfriends.
@VerbsRProudest: NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIDE DISH I'M BRINGING BUT I'M ANNOYED SO IT WILL BE SOMETHING MASHED
@abbycohenwl: [sees old lady drop $20] Devil on Shoulder: Grab her cash! Devil on other Shoulder: And push her over!
@3sunzzz: Fun Fact: If you answer your phone, "Christ speaking", 70% of the callers will hang up on you. You're welcome.