@tweeterreader36: To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jakob_huber: One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom.
@behindyourback: *a friend tells me their problems* me: mhm, ok, have you tried eating about it?
@TheRolo: 911: What is your emergency? Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.