@tweeterreader36: To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!
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@BadJordon: [ER] HIPSTER: I fell off my acoustic motorcycle & broke my mustache twirler. DOC:… H: I fell off my bike & broke my hand. D: Rub kale on it.
@thestlouisan: I just want to have enough followers so that my children can tweet comfortably for the rest of their lives.
@RealFartShady: I don't think none of Christopher Nolan's ex girlfriends know how the hell it ended.