@GodDammitDanny: To the guy who just followed me with "Conservative, God-loving, pro-life" in his bio... are you sure you want to do this?
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@aveuaskew: My dad only says I love you on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and competency hearings.
@Reverend_Scott: Wife: "Notice anything?" Me: "Is it your hair, shoes, dress, eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, or nails?" Wife: "You forgot to wear pants."