@GodDammitDanny: To the guy who just followed me with "Conservative, God-loving, pro-life" in his bio... are you sure you want to do this?
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@jonnysun: BEYONCE: do u like my album JAY: [thinking to self] if anyone hears this i'll be ruined JAY: [out loud] we should make it a tidal exclusive
@david8hughes: [teaching son to brush his teeth] Me: this is the part of your skeleton that everyone sees
@I_am_Lukem: Get your hero name by doing something brave and seeing what the newspapers call you. I'm Local Man.
@JustDontBugMe: Her: Those ants are working so hard. Me: We could learn from them. Ant1: Humans are staring. Ant2: Yes, they'll spray some shit on us. Run!