@CourtneyBale: To their credit, selfie sticks may be the only proof future archaeologists have to dispute the notion cameras grew directly out of our arms
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@daemonic3: Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
@richforri: I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week.
@TheTweetOfGod: 30 And to his followers he said, "Beliebers, weep not for me but yourselves and your children; for they'll never get to see me in concert."
@rockymomax: TRAINER: you know what they say ME: no pain! lo mein! TRAINER: it's "no gain" ME: (eating Chinese food) i like this better