@TheBoydP: To understand the difference between Italians and Canadians all you need to know is two things. Italian sausage and Canadian bacon...
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@joejwest: [jail] ME: I want my phone call COP: Ok. Make it count ME: [dials payphone] [cop's mobile rings] COP: Hello? ME: Please let me go
@tarashoe: ah, mercury's going retrograde, that explains why i accidentally squandered my entire youth
@Prero22: Person: It's not rocket science. Rocket science [wipes forehead and exhales] : Whew! Nearly got caught there.
@GrantTanaka: Hey kids, for Halloween, let’s go to a spooooky place full of scaaaary, oppressive people & a guy who riiiises from the dead! Kids: Church?