@lenadunham: To whoever has my old phone number: I truly hope you're enjoying those texts from that guy I met at that thing
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@momopface: WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You're an adult" every few minutes.
@angeliav68: Truthfully officer, I wouldn't have pulled over, if I known all you were gonna do is complain about my driving..
@GirlPosts: me to my husband: please hold me, the stress is not good for the baby husband: ??? what baby me: me. im the baby