@afbradstone: Today I heard a guy on the street say, "It's chowder season, baby!" so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
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@dafloydsta: [boarding plane] ME: Shotgun! COPILOT: Can he do that? PILOT: Looks like you're in economy today, Ted. COPILOT: *clenching fists* Damnit.
@ThisOneSayz: 6: I'm done. Me: you didn't even touch your food! 6 pokes food w/finger *without breaking eye contact* The Sass is strong with this one
@GabbbarSingh: The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the c**kroaches and a book packed by Flipkart.