@delusionaliam: Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.
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@daemonic3: "Hi" My name is "What?" My name is "Who?" My name is [chka chka] Slim Shady *scribbles on cup* "Ok Mr Shrimp Scabies, I'll start your latte"
@OutOfLeftField_: Women's voices naturally get higher as they get excited so if you're in bed and she still sounds like Morgan Freeman, try harder.
@Piecezilla: The weatherman said it's nice outside. I guess they don't let him watch the rest of the news.
@SteveSuckington: "Hi, I'm here for Paradox Club." -Actually this is Oxymoron Club. "Ok, same difference." *looks at group* -Oh, this guy is good.