@cjwerleman: Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving.
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@loribuckmajor: Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes.
@daemonic3: Joined our neighborhood watch program. There's 30 of us though so I only get to wear it like 1 day a month. :(
@tastefactory: I accidentally touched the underside of a public toilet seat with my finger. Well, you had a good run, finger. *chainsaw sound*