@Probablyrad: Today's kids will never know how it felt to give your computer AIDS just for free music
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@aligarchy: it's weird that the skin that holds in all the organs of our body can be opened with a sharp piece of paper seems like a huge design flaw
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: You put the wrong date on this. Me: Oh, yeah. The year change always messes me up. Wife: You wrote 1992.
@TheTweetOfGod: Justin Bieber's home has now been thoroughly searched, but police have uncovered no evidence of talent.