@HonestToddler: Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fuzzlime: I like how the dude in the next self-checkout lane is trying to disarm me with small talk like we don't both know this is a goddamn race
@KenJennings: I bet a lot of people have tried that "See you next year!" joke at the end of December but got proven wrong by dying in a DUI.
@Cheeseboy22: I saw this heartwarming video of baby bears climbing out of a dumpster and thought, "Who would throw away a perfectly good baby bear?"