@Mitchoacan: Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun.
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@DomBorrett: Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home' Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'
@the_gramble: Coworker: Do you have good taste in music? Me: I can only taste things I put in my mouth Both of us thinking: I work with an idiot