@HrBry: Told my dealer I wanted a shitload of Coke but autocorrect changed it to shipload now I owe a Columbian cartel 18 million dollars
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@RobertMorschel: I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."
@daisy_gi11: Anybody else always feel at least a little panic when their 6 says he "really needs scissors, like right now!"?
@MsSugar_Kisses: "You should leave your wife..." The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning...
@gvicks: Women's magazine Page 14: accept yourself as you are Page 15: how to lose 5 Kg in 2 weeks Page 16: best cake recipes ever..