@HrBry: Told my dealer I wanted a shitload of Coke but autocorrect changed it to shipload now I owe a Columbian cartel 18 million dollars
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@cloudypianos: everything in the world's horrible now not like the good old days of black plague, holocaust, atomic bombs, holodomor, khmer rouge, crusades
@iAmJuddy: Chef: What kind of bread would you like? We have wheat, rye, white... Me: Black bread. Chef: We don't have that. Me: Racist.