@_Tempo11: Told my dog it's too cold to go for a walk and he just saw one from the window and now I'm a liar.
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@LuckyToken1: Five second rule? Pfft. What's the point of having an immune system if you're not going to use it?
@KimmyMonte: Good cop: Ok relax. We are just gonna ask you a few questions Fashion police: Who are you wearing, you piece of shit?
@Bob_Heller: Party Tip: At a 3-year-old's birthday party, you can piss all over the bathroom. ALL OVER!!!! Nobody will suspect you.