@_Tempo11: Told my dog it's too cold to go for a walk and he just saw one from the window and now I'm a liar.
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@ashleyaustrew: I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. No, not you. You. On the left. Other left. No. Jesus Christ, I'll do it myself.
@lecalabara: Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts.
@FlyoverJoel: Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die.