@LoveNLunchmeat: Told my husband the best way to get help at Home Depot is to wear yoga pants, but I dunno. It doesn't seem to work as well for him.
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@Oshungurl: You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started.
@rpbateman: Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically.
@Pro_Jones_: Therapist: So what's the problem? Wife: He thinks he's a flamingo. Me: That's it! I'm putting my foot down. *lowers foot that was raised*
@FormerGrunt: When I die, just toss my body out of an airplane flying over NYC while wearing a superman costume.