@mjkspeaks: Told my kid that he had a viral infection and now he’s excited because he thinks he’s going to be famous online.
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@OrangeFact: Once a 7-year-old said he'd come at me "with the fury of 1,000 angry geese" during a game of tag & I never felt more threatened in my life
@Underchilde: Purse snatching is a great way to make some extra money while getting in some cardio.
@bonehugsnirony: [someone compliments me] Me: thanks Brain: act weird around them and ruin everything Me: please don't Brain: lol yes