@maughammom: Told my kids to get rid of toys they don't play with, so if you hear a commotion it's just them desperately playing with every toy they own.
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@DontTouchMyWine: If we're talking & I start running my nails up & down your arm, I either really like you, or I'm looking for an artery close to the surface.
@EndhooS: Good cop "If you confess maybe we can cut you some sort of deal..." Crab cop *walks sideways off the table*
@SteveSuckington: [Shopping with teen son] *sees hot girl* *waits until she gets close* *grabs box of adult diapers* "How are you doing on Depends bud?"