@WilliamAder: Told my wife that Hooters is an owl rescue sanctuary where I'm doing important volunteer work.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlotterMonkey: Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.
@Eightinchgoat: I wonder which lie came first: "Oops, wrong hole!" or "That's never happened before!"?
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Dance like nobody's watching. Do the dishes like nobody's watching. Change into that robe like nobody's watching. No, the other one.