@slimmy_shady: Tom Cruise has signed on for Mission Impossible V. His impossible mission is trying not to show up on everyone's gaydar.
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@JohnMayer: Them: “when are you back?” You: “next week.” (Week passes) You: “I’m back, let’s hang.” Them: “how long are you here?”
@BriarSly: Question: If a King runs a Kingdom...& an Emperor runs an Empire... Who runs a country?
@asimplesean: Actually, until you cut into it it's chocolate *magma* cake. If you could just bring me a menu with the proper nomenclature that'd be great.
@shkeeber: There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.