@slimmy_shady: Tom Cruise has signed on for Mission Impossible V. His impossible mission is trying not to show up on everyone's gaydar.
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@buck4itt: Thanks for keeping your Instagram account private. I'd hate for those pictures of your lunch to fall into the wrong hands.
@TastyTuneTweets: Idea: ATM that sends you encouraging messages like "You Can Do it" or "Ramen Noodles Aren't So Bad" when you check your sad Account Balance