@slimmy_shady: Tom Cruise has signed on for Mission Impossible V. His impossible mission is trying not to show up on everyone's gaydar.
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@neiltyson: Dracula & other undead people who sleep in coffins must have good abs. They always rise up flat-backed when the casket opens.
@GFGander: How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
@oscarewilde: kate bush: [running up that road] me, a personal trainer: okay kate bush: [running up that hill] me: alright kate bush: [running up that building] me: kate