@LaTreiHinton: Tom & Jerry had the realest beef of all time..... nvr said a word.... it was jus on sight ..
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@thetits: [texting] ME: I like you, I think you're cute MY CRUSH: oh um ME: HAHAHA omg my dog was chewing on my phone lol how did he type that
@chuuew: DR: So, you're 36 years old, 4 foot tall & sound like a woman. How can I help you today, Mr Simpson? BART: I don't know where my hair starts
@curlycomedy: Songs with lyrics like, "We don't need sleep," why are you rebelling against naps? What are you--four?
@JohnHilsen: I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults.