@BBQJones28: Tomorrow I'm gonna chase someone...like really run after them..screaming and everything.
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@mrtruthandsoul: According to WebMD, I either have the Ebola virus or I just sat on my car keys :/
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: It's not fair. Boys can have beards but girls can’t. Me: Well, girls can have babies and boys can’t. 4: Want to trade?
@Reverend_Scott: The year 2932, lines for the new iPhone are so long, many die before reaching the end. Those who do, get back in line for the next phone.