@13spencer: Tonight's Golden Globes taught us that, no matter how much you spend on surgery, nobody looks good while sweaty.
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@leechee420: Stop making mini snacks, people. Never have I been like, "wow this is a delicious cupcake. If only it were 1/4 of the size."
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
@GrantTanaka: son: hey dad me: [picks up phone, dials 9] yes son: now don’t get mad me: [dials 1] ok son: do we have a fire extinguisher me: [dials 1]