@iMikosnyc: Tonite on House Hunters: Jill wants 4 bedrooms, granite countertops and a home spa. Bob wants to be stabbed in the driveway.
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@ActualPerson084: FIRMS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF OFFERING SERVICES YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AT PRICES THEY REFUSE TO DISCUSS.
@robfee: I wonder if the coach of the opposing team on Air Bud got fired when he explained to the principal how a golden retriever outscored his team
@daemonic3: [1st day as IT guy] CUSTOMER: My laptop is down today, can you help? ME: I'll try [softly, to laptop] Cheer up, bud, everything will be ok
@Muath_tu: Apparently you can't get a sick leave just because you're sick of seeing everyone at the office.