@iMikosnyc: Tonite on House Hunters: Jill wants 4 bedrooms, granite countertops and a home spa. Bob wants to be stabbed in the driveway.
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@Sassafrantz: [Ghost Hunters] This ghost is a male, probably in his 40's -how'd u figure that out? He went bat shit crazy when we turned the thermostat up
@GoddessTitty: Going to get a facial today... this guy on Craigslist is offering a way lower price than the salon!
@thisis_thatguy: I just heard an add on the radio stressing the importance of healthy muscles and it inspired me to bend my elbows more while eating cake.
@RandomRamblr: Boss: You need to work on your puncuality. Me: Sorry, but commas, are hard, to place. Boss: ....?